Hello my name is SEBRINACHOCOLATEKWA
i am born on ♥ 16 september 1994 ♥
i study in Peanut Rolling Culinary School ( PRCS )
i love Hello kitty, family, friends and animals
Bodies so close..yet one heart feel so far apart.. Im sorry for what i've done.. really. truthfully. i feel like im such a bitch.. didn't do my job as your gf. didn't really consider how you felt.. many times i was joking.. but sorry... i guess my joke went too far... how i wish we could go back to the old times.. but do you really have no feelings for me anymore..? after so much we gone through.. i can't let go.... i miss the times when we chat on phone.. sms each other.. everyday im just waiting for a miracle to happen..... to go back to the old days... the happy times.. and try my best to make up to you.. i know im not the perfect person....but i'll try to be. i know it will tak time for you to heal..a very long time.. i'll wait....even if it takes a lifetime. i love you.
i really don't want to talk about today... maybe i'll just say some things.. i know you were very angry by then.. when you pushed me away.. i can't stand it but to cry.. cry my heart out..my heart was like torn into million pieces.. i know this heart will need a very long time to fix it back.. i donno how to carry on in life with a smile on my face.. with this empty heart.. left with only memories.. sadness....
till the end of the day, would you be there to love me, to hold me?
I don't think I want this anymore, As she drops the ring to the floor. She says to herself, You've left before, This time you will stay gone, that's for sure.
And he shattered something else To drag her suitcase down the path, To the driveway. She had never gone that far.
Normally this would be The time that she Would let him talk her out of leaving, But this time, without crying, As she got into her car, she said,
No, Happily Never After That just ain't for me. Because finally, I know I deserve better, after all I'll never let another teardrop fall."
As she drove away she starts to smile, Realized she hadn't for a while. No destination, she drove for miles Wondering why she stayed in such denial.
She was laughing about the way he shattered something else To drag her suitcase down the path, To the driveway , She had never gone that far (oh, no) Normally this would be, the time that she (yeah) Would let him talk her out of leaving, but this time, without crying, As she got into her car, she said,
No, Happily Never After That just ain't for me Because finally, I know I deserve better After all I'll never let another teardrop fall.
I'm done, I'm done, said I'm so done, I'm free, I'm free, so free Free to feel the way I feel, yeah.
She inhales a breath she'd never breathed before Don't want no drama no more.
Cause she says No, Happily Never After That just ain't for me
I know I deserve, better after all I know I'll never let another teardrop fall No Happily Never After That just ain't for me Because finally, I know I deserve better, after all I'll never let another teardrop fall Said I'm done, I'm done, I'm done
..how do i go on like this,.,, im drained of energy..
today had lots of fun!!!! after school went cycling with hehan, spencer donavon and laura!!! it was very tiring T.T and laura , hehan feel down =( hehan's injuriy looks bad and luara's nail got chipped off!! EWWWWW!! so fun so fun!! hahas. hope to cycle again =)
I seriously think it's always best to not tell people how you feel about some things. sometimes people claim to understand you, but they really don't. i suppose. then you will start to not trust them , because they will not understand you. i really don't know who to share with except my blog, and to my bugs bunny.
jealousy kills the cat. yeah and i know it's killing me right now, bit by bit. slowly, painfully. i cannot stand the way you treat girls, and there's really a difference the way you treat me. i always wanted to tell you this but i know we'll just quarrell and bla bla bla and so on. i don't know why, i keep comparing you to some other guys. they are just different. they really treat me very nice, caring, thoughtful, always there for me when i need them. i know you are there for me most of the times. i can't understand why you can't be there for me. but how long is this going to continue on? am i gonna scream to myself everytime? i only know that i can entrust them now, not you. maybe i just need someone who will pay attention to me. but you don't. they do. i was disappointed many times. many . a lot. i tried to put up a strong front, act like as if nothing happened. i can't . i will break down somehow. then we will quarrell. cause i will sort of ignore you. see what i mean? they won't do this to me. but you do. i can't help it but to think this way. today i was really sad. really really very sad. i was so jealous. what can i do? look from afar , trying to hold my tears back. but i broke down. infront of lixuan. it's not because of my science test. only he will comfort me. i felt very disappointed. then what you said after PE. i wasn't angry. i was frustrated. about myself. feel so inferior, why you can't seem to be happy with me. why im now unable to confide into you. why i really dread of you so many times. many times i thought of leaving you, but i can't. cause in my heart i only love you. but why can't you understand how i feel? just like now, i type it out, you read it, we'll quarrell. then i really donno who to tell. after PE, you said you didn't talk to her because of me. i didn't say you can't talk to her. if it's really so miserable for you not to talk to her, why not. i won't stop you. it's your freedom. what i feel really doesn't matter. really. don't feel that im just being unreasonable again. im really saying how i feel now. i can only cry to myself these days. i don't even trust my friends anymore. cause i know they can't help me. so are you. this helpless feeling is really killing me. i often think that im not good enough to you. like today, i donno what you said to them, but i know for sure it's something bad. so be it. you told people you had no feelings fo rme anymore. if it's really true, i don't want to continue a relationship with no ending. i only hope the best for you. now the problem is with how i feel. it's really non of your business. for all i know, i feel this distance from us. it seems like you don't know me anymore, and i feel like im nothing to you. this is really how i feel. i doubt you even read my blog anymore. so whether you know it or not doesn't matter. cause i finally understand what is called sacrificial love. if it's really so difficult for you to sacrifice for me, then i will do it.
thank you for being by my side all the time. theo.
eglish lesson nowadays are darn boring. and maple keep dc-ing, damn sian also. and im starting to hate her a lot. i think she thinks the world revolve around her. don't ask me who. one day you'll know. may god punish the worst christians.
Sorry.. i really don't mean it..... im just saying how i feel.. i just don't understand why i feel this way.. not that you're born like that.. just that.. maybe i have to get use to who you are.. you don't have to change..i'll change..this time it's my fault.. you don't owe me anything.. i just made things worse..im sorry.
From now on, i'll post picture depicting my mood... today's been an average day.. just that i feel so tire now.. tired of everything. but, today mr leung gave us ice cream during band.. i felt so much better, cause i love to eat ice cream when im sad. and mr leung saved my day.. after that went home.. had many deep thoughts in the bus. saw claudia.. my mood got worse.. not because of claudia.. but some other things ba.. and SORRY HUIMIN. rub into your wound... so sorrry =((
i really don't get why sacrificing is so hard... i mean i feel so tight in a spot. i feel so embarassed when im with you..so.. disgraced.. i really can't take it.. especially the criticism from other people.... makes me feel so stupid.. im not blaming you for anything.. didn't you want to know why im like that.? now i told you.... you have no reasons to show attitude to me............... i guess i have to hang on...... but how long...?
now im boreeed. B-O-R-E-D BORED!!! just talked to julian on msn. as usual, her chimnology is confusing me =P hahs. anyway she told me a lot of things about her life. hmm maybe i share with you =) she had a lot of stress in school, and most of her problems are like mine ( i guess ). she got "dumped" by her friend cause her friend has another friend. well i think her friend seriously sucks cock. such an ass. never consider about people's feeling. and the worst thing is she still boss people around, and always hurt people without knowing. these are the worse friends you'll ever have man. i kinda pity her. rahhhhhhhhs. that's school sucks. too much of socializing people call you flirt. then why make friends? makes sense right ;D haahs. im bored now. and im studying science. i think im so hardworking LOL. hahas. ok la that's all i shall end here with a stupid photo on the top.
HELLO!! finally can upload photos on my blog =.=l stupid blogger. BLOGGER SUCKS!!! okay i shall talk a bout today. today DAMN SHIOK! cause no maths and history lesson, all relief period. then me, hehan , marilyn and bla bla bla started playing truth or dare. lols damn stupid. eh no, i mean dare or dare. then morning was debating about Jesus. coz Jesus promised he won't send a flood anymore, so i said maybe he'll send fire. then he said on judgement day Jesus will ask you all sorts of questions. Jesus : Why you speak vulgarities? me : cause i like. AND BOOOM!! he struck me. LOLS. so lame. now so tired. going play maple le byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (:
today's been a very very super duper ultra mega extremely bad day. an di really don't understand why, but many people in school are like out to eat me today. you know who right? you know it yourself. grr. nvm i shall name it out!!
number #1 - i donno if he's pmsing or something, but yeah i think he is. number #2 - i think our new maths teacher is a bitch . she teaches us like as if we are KINDERGARTEN KIDS??? like what the hell. and she's keep insisting on having the supp class on monday. like WTF!?!? if it's on monday, after school go for supp, after supp i rush for piano, after piano rush for tuition, then i 'll die!! and she say that im rude just because i shouted? lols. bitch sia. whatever. number #3 - saw many bitches today. disgusting , act chio and idiotic. and they have ASS .
actually that's all la. and i can't believe i broek down today. coz i was really feeling so stress up. and SO, I QUIT CHAIRMAN!!
i feel so proud of myself. i think i did something that i should have done all the while!! stephanie watch out. you're gonna be the next top chairperson!!
today's really been an awful day.. keep thinking about my family.. friends.. him and many more.. feel so stress now. chairman sucks. really donno how to cheer up now.. just feel like having a long long sleep.. that's all le.. bye. Amanda made me do this quiz:
1 what disappoints you the most? when he doesn't even know what happen.... and get angry at me... 2 where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket? New Zealand 3 what's the most romantic thing that you would like to do with the one you love? eat at a cafe in paris. that will never happen. 4 do you think money can buy happiness? no. only for shopaholic. 5 if you can have one dream to come true, what would it be? die . 6 do you believe you can survive without money? of course not la. 7 what are you afraid to lose the most? the love of my friends and family members 8 if you win $1 million, what would you do? 1/4 donate to charities, the rest split between me and my family, then go enjoy life. 9 what do you dream of doing in the future? musician or ____. 10 how many times have you and your best friend(in the whole world) quarrelled? none? LAWLS. cheryl koh see i so nice to you. 11 what makes you happy? er... seldom anything makes me happy. happiness for me is just a short term thing. 12 what type of persons do you hate most? think that the world revolves around her that kind. and two faced. 13 what makes you feel disgusted? gays. 14what do you think is the most important in your life? everything. 15 which friend of yours you don't want to lose most? laura. cheryl. celeste 16 who is your best buddy? shane 17 which cartoon character you like most? bugs bunnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 18 are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like he/she? no. i hate that feeling of urge. 19 who do you always bully? spencer. 20 if you could have a superpower, what would it be? rewind the time.
Instructions:remove one qn and add in your own. total will be 20. tag 8 people after that. 1. laura 2. celeste 3. cheryl 4. marilyn 5. lixuan 6. charmaine 7. hehan 8. lingyi?? lols.
